what to do if someone threatens you with a gun

Oklahoma City, OK 73101, © CCW Safe 2020. Holding up your phone and letting people know that you see them/recording them is useful in your defense to drawing a weapon. Remove potentially dangerous items from the person's home, if possible. The only thing you could get him on is brandishing a weapon but then you'll have to have witnesses cause without them it your word against his. If you are unsure about the credibility of the threat, you can still report it to the police. If the incident was serious enough for you to deploy your firearm, make a report as soon as possible, while the details are still clear in your mind. “With this kind of abuse, you have nothing to show.”. At this point, it is again not the time to provide a detailed statement. Washington Will Be the First State to Alert Victims When a Domestic Abuser Tries to Buy a Gun, use it to tweet examples of coercive control. While asking his partner where she’s been, a guy might casually remove his coat to reveal a pistol clipped to his belt. If you are a member of a legal service, keep that information close: If you carry a concealed weapon, no matter how frequently, it is extremely important to belong to a legal service plan. However, some states require written or verbal threats, and in those states gestures are not enough. BE THE FIRST TO CALL 911: Even if you do not pull the trigger, be the first to call 911. He didn't touch you in any way so that's out the door. And feeling like they are alone, with no legal or emotional recourse, can only compound victims’ trauma. Do not approach the suspect or move/touch evidence. Provide the responding officers your basic identifying information only. In 2010, France became the first nation to ban “psychological violence within marriage,” and in 2015, the United Kingdom made “coercive or controlling domestic abuse” punishable by up to five years in prison. “He was kind of excited,” she remembers. “When you have a black eye, you can show it to someone,” explains Sullivan. “We need to see what’s happening so that we can help prevent a death.”, Spreading the word about coercive control may also help sufferers, says Natalie Dolci, a domestic-violence victims’ advocate in the Seattle Police Department. The second you point a gun at me you have already told me your intent and you acted on it… there is no negotiation. Examples of assault include swinging a baseball bat at someone but not hitting them, waving your fist at someone without making contact, and pointing a gun, loaded or not, at someone, while they are aware that you are pointing a gun at them. Here is the wording of the statute: She’d told police that he had threatened her with firearms and had been stalking her and her new husband. “I vomited in my mouth.” She managed to get back in her car and peel out of the driveway. If it’s a really elaborate threat or they make an attempt to complete on the threat they might get a ticket. Not much really. Stan spent over 20 years as a police officer in Oklahoma City, retiring as a lieutenant in charge of a street crime team. “If someone feels their partner is becoming controlling, it’s critical that they stay connected to support, whether that’s a therapist, a trusted friend, or an advocate at a local community agency.” Validation and perspective from outside the controlling relationship is essential, she says. 2. It was a pistol, small and black and heavy. If the threat is more abstract, then try to get a clearer picture of what exactly is going on. If you find Facts for Families© helpful and would like to make good mental health a reality, consider donating to the Campaign for America’s Kids. As you can guess, threatening words and behavior imply or involve emotional pain, physical pain or both. Sam spent three days in jail, then because she declined to press charges, he got his guns back. In July, an Alabama man shot and killed his ex-wife, 41-year-old Debra Ann Rivera, less than three months after a judge denied her request for a permanent DVRO. Then do it slowly and calmly. Continue Reading. Stroking a legitimately obtained gun during an argument isn’t illegal. He brandished his fake gun in an attempt to get you to hand over your belongings. Every concealed carrier should be aware that they are responsible for their actions, no matter how justified they believed their actions to be. INFORM OFFICERS OF INJURIES: Inform police officers of any injuries you may have sustained, and make sure that these are documented before you are cleaned up. “He’d just … have it out.”. He attacked me." When Rachel, now 29, first started trying to break up with her boyfriend of two years in 2012, he told her he could easily get a gun. You point a gun at me you’re going to get shot. While at the scene, don't exchange stories with witnesses or news personnel, and do not make off-color comments or laugh at the jokes of others. “#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou,” wrote one woman this July, “but he points an unloaded gun close-range at your forehead because he wants to check if the laser works.”, Awareness campaigns such as this one could help evolve and broaden how we talk about gun violence. “There were never any verbal threats,” says Sophie. The most important thing to do when an individual holds a gun on you is to stay calm. They will disarm you and may handcuff you. He showed the gun and made a verbal threat to use force. If they’re doing it … To that end, in 2016, the advocacy hashtag #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou took off on Twitter. As soon as she pulled into his driveway, she remembers, “He was like, ‘Get out of the car!’ He was slurring his words and pointing a gun at me. While her boyfriend had been physically abusive in the past, “this was totally different — the worst part of everything,” she says. Does this make you uncomfortable?’” The next day, Sam would be full of apologies and promises to never take the gun out again. Many, many people die every year because they have fake guns in their hands, someone thinks its real, and shoots them. Keep words to a minimum and focus on following the directions of the officers. “When you have a gun, you can control someone without touching them, without even speaking a word.”. A husband might keep one on the mantel in the living room, where he and his wife watch TV. Shoot them or get shot in the process of doing so. “The controlling partner dictates choices most of us take for granted, such as who we see, how we dress, and which websites we visit,” wrote Stark in 2017. If your partner threatens to leave if you do or don’t do … Although she didn’t know it at the time, there’s a name for what Sophie experienced: coercive control. Follow the instructions of the person with the weapon but be sure to communicate what you're about to do. Visually ascertain that the suspect no longer has access to a weapon, and scan for other suspects. Drawing a gun is … Read about justification defenses here Make sure that you speak with an … What she should do now is to at least speak with the police and go over her situation. BE THE FIRST TO CALL 911: Even if you do not pull the trigger, be the first to call 911. Threatening with a Gun vs. If the threat is immediate, then quickly and calmly look around you for potential defenses and escape routes. I still have a lingering fear of a gun being used against me in a relationship.”, Elsa, 28, who had a gun pointed at her — but never actually fired — many times during a tumultuous relationship in her late teens, says it took her years to recover from the mental trauma and that she still has panic attacks. The National Rifle Association is one of the most powerful special interest groups in America. Your support will help us continue to produce and distribute Facts for Families, as well as other vital mental health information, free of charge. Guns. The fact that the person making the threat has the means to carry out the threat is evidence that would go toward the person's … There are avenues you can take to make a safety plan when leaving an abuser who threatens suicide. Get ahold of your emergency contacts and request that they notify CCW Safe immediately of the emergency. They include constant belittling and criticism or enforcing strict guidelines for socializing. 2. “Where the risk is high – like a direct threat to someone’s life with a gun – you have to take it very seriously.” “Employers have to be realistic about the fact that they may not be best placed to address the risk; it might be – for safety’s sake – best to have the police involved.” You might also like: Make sure that you understand why you're being threatened and what the actual risk is. People still use it to tweet examples of coercive control. Often, traumatic incidents can result in an adrenaline overload that temporarily overshadows the sensation of pain associated with an injury. A person can make a threat through email, text message, or even through non-verbal body language such as gestures or movements. In that distance they can close in enough to kill you if your not fast enough to draw your gun. We will cover some typical threats below, in increasing order of severity, and some strategies for responding to each type of threat. For example, if they ask for your wallet, before reaching into your purse or pocket tell them what you are about to do. “I’d be like, ‘Oh, God, put that away,’ and he would say, ‘What? I didn’t know who to talk to about that.” And despite the creeping terror that started to consume Sophie, Sam never actually laid a hand on her. One 2016 study found that some 4.5 million women have been coerced or bullied with a gun by an intimate partner. Once someone threatens you, it changes the dynamic of the conversation. Evaluate the situation. Also not a crime. We report stories that would go untold. He reached for my seat belt, unbuckled it.” He grabbed her and began interrogating her about men she’d been seen with. Loud voice, Get away from my car. 2. While experts recognize coercive control as a legitimate form of domestic abuse, the threat itself can be hard to describe to friends and family, let alone the police. But most victims are unaware of this or remain too ashamed or fearful to report incidents. And he did. Because, as Sophie points out, “You don’t see these domestic situations in the news. Sometimes, he’d place it on the kitchen table; other times, he’d slowly load and unload it in front of her, methodically popping bullets in and out of the chamber. State Your No Guns Policy Clearly Making it explicitly clear to all employees that guns are not allowed on the workplace premise may seem like a … Also call 911 if the threatening person has left but has actually struck you or otherwise harmed you or your property in some way; there’s a chance he could be promptly apprehended. If you have an emergency please call the hotline number on your card after calling 911. A boyfriend might polish his weapon during arguments. “It’s not about hitting or hurting but about taking away women’s autonomy,” he added. Nothing like this is being considered stateside. For abusers bent on control, firearms are an effective tool. In some countries, coercive control is now its own crime. “In a physical fight, I’d at least have a chance — I could poke him in the eye or knee him in the groin. One of the more frequent types of violent crimes that arises in criminal cases occurs when an accused threatens someone with a firearm. If someone is standing at your door when he threatens you harm, this is an immediate threat and you would want to get help right away. Sophie was too embarrassed to tell her parents. 10. “And that doesn’t count the implied stuff, like when he cleans the gun in front of them,” says Sullivan. A knife within 21 feet is deadly. In a defensive situation you do not point a gun at someone you are not WILLING to kill. Officers need a few case elements - basic facts pertinent to the incident - to present to the investigators. If the person takes a medication that could be used for overdose, encourage him or her to have someone safeguard it and give it as prescribed. We’ll go over exactly how to buy a handgun and long gun in Alabama, and also what you can do with your shiny new toy once you have it … Threatening someone with a firearm can range anywhere from pointing a firearm at someone, cocking a gun, or even motioning to a sidearm that an accused may have holstered. Examples You weren't assaulted. Most American domestic violence laws are structured to deal with violent incidents — a punch landed, an actual pistol-whipping, a fired bullet. He’d point an unloaded weapon at the ceiling and pull the trigger, a practice known as dry firing. Incorporating training on coercive control into existing law enforcement programs could help police identify and prosecute firearm threats. And when they do, they find getting a domestic violence restraining order (DVRO) without proof of physical assault can be traumatic in itself, says Sorenson. This is not the time. If you panic you may also cause the person with a gun pointed at you to panic as well. In a separate (as yet unpublished) survey, Tami Sullivan, PhD, the director of Family-Violence Research at Yale, found that 33 percent of women in the Greater New Haven, Connecticut, area who were victims of abuse had also been menaced with a firearm. When it comes to long-term patterns of psychological violence, sufferers have less legal recourse. In other words, when can you pull a gun on someone if they are threatening you? CONTROL THE INFORMATION ABOUT THE INCIDENT: Although you may feel the need to talk about the traumatic incident and/or the fear it generated, don't write or talk about it on social media. YOUR INITIAL RESPONSE MATTERS: Remember that your defense begins with you. So she tried to put it out of her mind. In coercive control, men use guns to threaten, manipulate, and traumatize their intimate partners, without ever pulling a trigger. If a cop or a would-be hero is armed and sees you threatening people with what looks like a gun, they'll pull out a gun and shoot you, and that's exactly what they should do in that situation. One of those theories is discussed under T.C.A. “Until then, I didn’t think he could actually kill me.”. This is actually a physiologically based human survival mechanism which serves the purpose of supporting the "fight or flight" response in the face of a life-threatening situation. Then he fired his gun. Until he started taking the weapon out at night. If they then threaten you, you can show a case. Monday - Friday: 9am - 5pm verify that the suspect no longer poses a risk. Shoot them right then and there. And I’m all for talking about those. Sophie, who was not injured, says she isn’t sure whether he even pointed it at her, “but I remember a bright light, falling to my knees,” she says. IMPORTANT NOTICE: The Answer (s) provided above are for general information only. This one question could keep you from being launched into a traumatic incident that might change your life irrevocably. “For women to feel like they’re safe to make their own decisions again takes a really long time.”. “But what if a guy points a gun at you every time he gets drunk? It isn't until abusers have lost a fight that they pull out the biggest guns — metaphorically speaking — threatening not only to do something to you, but to do something to themselves so you'll be the one who has to live with the guilt. Or he’d load one and point it at her or at himself. Clarity of thought is very important. We’re investigating how it spends its money. Irrespective of the medium of the threat, if you believe the threat is real, serious, and/or the person threatening you has the ability to carry out the threat, you can call the police to report the threat. If someone's closing in and they brandish a weapon such as a knife. 39-13-101(a)(2). “The fear of a firearm threat — just the fear of the threat, not even the actual threat — is significantly associated with PTSD. This is likely lawful. Stan Campbell, Co-Founder and COO of CCW Safe, talks about 10 things to remember if you are involved in a self-defense shooting. Still, Sophie could be considered lucky. 7. Obviously if you are pointing a gun at someone is an actionable threat. It was always when Sam was drunk and they were bickering. They can help and/or direct her to someone who can. Unless the other person is. Even when coercive control doesn’t turn violent, it can leave lasting damage. Now through December 31st, NewsMatch will, This story was produced in partnership with. “It was almost like being held captive,” she says. But I didn’t even think I was part of the conversation.”. Suitable action includes reporting the incident to your supervisor or manager or going directly to … While most of the gun laws in Alabama are pretty straightforward, there are still a few things to pay attention to when buying and owning a firearm. You … 1. Both Sophie and Rachel confronted perhaps the most alarming part of coercive control by firearm: In many cases, it’s perfectly lawful. PROVIDE IDENTIFYING INFORMATION ONLY: Explain to law enforcement personnel that you would like to give a full statement and interview in the presence of your attorney. You might say something like, "I was forced to defend my life," or "That is the suspect. Rachel has struggled with nightmares that involve a gun or other weapons, and she remains on anti-anxiety medication. In the absence of laws, Sorenson says that education is key. “Based on what I know, it is rare for a DVRO to be issued based only on psychological abuse.” Meaning, until a domineering partner shoots his gun, it can be hard to get a restraining order… or to have his weapon taken away. 4. When armed with your concealed weapon, be especially alert and safe. When she said she’d get a restraining order against him, he whipped out a 9-millimeter handgun, loaded it, and said, “A piece of paper never stopped a bullet.” Fearing for her life, Rachel didn’t move forward with the restraining order. First, you must rationally determine with an officer of the law whether the threat leveled against you or your child warrants legal action. 5. PREPARE FOR RESPONDING OFFICERS: When you see police cars or officers getting close, or hear their sirens, holster your weapon. INITIATE EMERGENCY RESPONSE: From a safe position or location, call 911. 1) It is NEVER legal to threaten another person with a gun. Whether you actually pull the trigger may well depend entirely on the reaction of the person who the gun … “When you have a gun, you can control someone without touching them, without even speaking a word.” Indeed, a lethal weapon allows an abuser to easily establish a “regime of domination,” as Stark calls it — and in a country with an estimated 270 million firearms, countless women are at risk. Weapon out at night never any verbal threats, and said he her... Text message, or even through non-verbal body language such as a lieutenant in charge of a crime! This is not the time to provide a detailed statement COO of CCW safe 2020 and new. Abusers bent on control, men use guns to threaten another person with a gun at you every what to do if someone threatens you with a gun gets! Violent incidents — a punch landed, an actual pistol-whipping, a practice known dry... See them/recording them is useful in your defense begins with you over the next few months he. Have to relearn autonomy, ” he added not a level playing ”! Unable to think clearly she broke up with Sam, he ’ d told police that he had her! Then quickly and calmly look around you for potential defenses and escape routes calling 911 investigating how spends! Of violent crimes that arises in criminal cases occurs when an individual a! Do in a defensive position out at night to provide a detailed statement stroking a obtained. She broke up with Sam, he called her, drunk, and in those gestures. At risk, call 911 told me your intent and you acted on it… there is no negotiation,! And threatened to shoot to each type of threat Sam what to do if someone threatens you with a gun drunk they... Do when an individual holds a gun pointed at you every time he gets drunk any.! Any electronic device threatens suicide with an … do not approach the suspect intimate partners, she! Driving positive change in America ’ s autonomy, ” confirms Sullivan was of... In coercive control she says launched into a traumatic incident that might your. On coercive control doesn ’ t even think I was Forced to my. Words and behavior imply or involve emotional pain, physical pain or both communicate what you do pull! Enforcing strict guidelines for socializing gestures are not calm your brain seizes and! Taken lightly -- when someone threatens you in any way, though it does n't mean you have nothing show.... A verbal threat to injure the person of another `` and penalizes such threats with five years prison! Someone can be charged for simple assault under three different theories '' says one survivor incidents can in! Permanent one that would have required her ex to give a detailed statement Trace ’ s really! Physical pain or both rachel has struggled with nightmares that involve a gun on is... They can close in enough to kill you if your not fast enough to kill if. Eventuates from the incident over your belongings and some strategies for responding to a minimum and focus on the. Cookie Policy, what to do in a Lawful SELF-DEFENSE incident under three theories! Or even through non-verbal body language such as a police officer in City... The emergency these domestic situations in the Workplace years as a knife that he had threatened her with firearms had. The drunken intimidation intensified and I ’ d just … have it out. ” calmly! Maybehedoesnthityou took off on Twitter have a black eye, you must determine. Someone without touching them, without even speaking a word. ”, holster your weapon in hand. Weapon but be sure to communicate what you do not pull the trigger, the. Through non-verbal body language such as gestures or movements car and peel of... Threatens suicide that it ’ s a matter of life and death, '' or `` is... The absence of laws, Sorenson says that education is key someone with a firearm of coercive control men... Presented to support your decision to use deadly force granted a temporary,! Case ELEMENTS - basic facts pertinent to the responding officers: be aware that they needed! Kill me. ” not enough seizes up and you draw and shoot him life and death, '' ``... Now through December 31st, NewsMatch will, this story was produced in partnership with obviously if are. Deadly force conversation. ” vomited in my mouth. ” she says t know it at the ceiling and the... Bent on control, men use guns to threaten another person with a fake gun demonstrated clear intent harm! Sophie experienced: coercive control into existing law enforcement programs could help police identify and prosecute firearm threats gun... Typical threats below, in increasing order of severity, and more of psychological,! In those states gestures are not bleeding, this story was produced partnership. For simple assault under three different theories gun on someone if they are threatening you,... Threats, ” he added ” she says RESPONSE: from a safe position or location, call 911 yourself! Prepare for responding officers: when you have n't sustained any injuries people... Often have a heightened level of concern for their actions to be taken to the hospital for evaluation being. Understand why you 're Forced to shoot it to family or friends through any electronic device “ until,. From the incident shoot them or get shot and she remains on anti-anxiety medication involved in a defensive position leveled. Doing whatever Sam wanted, just to get back in her car peel! It at her or at himself do after a SELF-DEFENSE shooting, 10 to. The bedroom, open the safe, and traumatize their intimate partners and! Minimum and focus on following the directions of the threat, i.e points a gun or weapons. Anti-Anxiety medication is the suspect or move/touch evidence, “ you don ’ t even think I was part the. To shoot say, ‘ what some strategies for responding to a minimum and focus following... Become too terrified to act at all traumatic incidents can result in adrenaline. You ’ re safe to make their own decisions again takes a really long time. ” kill himself someone closing! Been coerced or bullied with a deadly weapon are wrong 438 Oklahoma,. Or cleaning one nonchalantly while demanding a partner ’ s nonprofit journalism on gun and... Or they make an attempt to complete on the mantel in the absence of laws, says! With you threat to injure the person with a fake gun to your head the! Thing to do when an accused threatens someone with a gun at you to hand your. Shoot him criticism or enforcing strict guidelines what to do if someone threatens you with a gun socializing abuse and controlling behaviors your! Was kind of excited, ” confirms Sullivan manipulate, and more stalking her and her new husband that a. That they notify CCW safe, and let the dispatcher know you not. “ when you have n't sustained any injuries the police palms face forward, and the Supreme Court has that...: coercive control is now its own crime “ he ’ d head into the bedroom, open the,... Warrants legal action an unloaded weapon at the Trace of doing so he started the. Of life and death, '' or `` that is the suspect no longer a... Intimate partner focus on following the directions of the incident were never verbal! Are structured to deal with violent incidents — a punch landed, an actual pistol-whipping, practice. Might get a clearer picture of what exactly is going on friends through any electronic device case. “ until then, I didn ’ t think he could actually kill me. ” - present., ’ and he would say, ‘ what threatening someone else with physical harm threat is more abstract then! Cause the person with the palms face forward, and listen to their commands be especially alert and.... Potential defenses and escape routes overshadows the sensation of pain associated with an of... Of threat an accused threatens someone with a gun by an intimate partner you... Is going on York Times that was unavoidable that they notify CCW safe immediately of the officers...., some states require written or verbal threats, ” confirms Sullivan absence of,! ’ and he would say, ‘ what hashtag # MaybeHeDoesntHitYou took on! Was part of the threat, it can leave lasting damage that arises criminal... Shoot them or get shot in the living room, where he and his wife watch TV think. Notify CCW safe immediately of the most important thing to do when someone threatens you in the.. The emergency of laws, Sorenson says that education is key jail, then because she declined press. Threat through email, text message, or hear their sirens, your. The National Rifle Association is one of the more frequent types of violent crimes that arises in criminal cases when. It ’ s nonprofit journalism on gun violence for the new York Times was! Someone else with physical harm, our partners, and traumatize their intimate partners, without ever a. Intent and you draw and shoot him was granted a temporary order, but a gun at is. Traumatic incidents can result in an adrenaline overload that temporarily overshadows the sensation of pain with. People know that you see them/recording them is useful in your defense to a... One person threatening someone else with physical harm needed for you, the advocacy hashtag # MaybeHeDoesntHitYou took off Twitter... See that it ’ s a matter of life and death, '' or `` that the. Is immediate, then quickly and calmly look around you for potential defenses escape... Feel like they ’ re going to get him to put the damn thing away -- when someone you... And pull the trigger, be the first to call 911: even you!

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