It’s fucked up, man. They were like, “Well, Mr. Chappelle… sixteen identical police reports. But he knows all my habits. Just tell me what to look for.” One of those homestyle checkups. 1. Listen, sir, I don’t know what she’s saying, but just take my advice. She’s probably right.” I am a pussy. I felt really good in the first round. You know Michael Sam? The stand-up special is actually two parts. She really took one for the team on that one. I had to explain all of this to my wife. It’s good to know that plaid is back in. “Back up, motherfucker! And it was wintertime, and it had snowed recently, so there’s huge snowdrifts on the street. After he reunites with an old pal through Facebook, a mild-mannered accountant is lured into the world of international espionage. My wife once called me a pussy… in front of dinner guests. What is this? I don’t know who delivered it. Isn’t that weird? And you know what she told me? All we know is that he punched Sarah Jr. in the face.” I said, “Oh, no!” Sarah’s one of the only parents I’m not sure I can beat up in this school. No, no. I was ready to fight. Now ISIS is number one on the terrorist charts. Read honest and unbiased product reviews from our users. He’s composing the voiceover I’m saying to you right now. Man! I don’t know where he gets that from. I’m a pussy. Come on, man.” This went on for a while. I had a friend from high school. ♪, ♪ Now, when I was a young boy ♪ Thank you. First of all, I’ll tell you right now what I said, and I’ll tell you this was not a joke. Now, if you see me walking down the street with Baba, I ain’t got no leash or nothing. Uh-oh. Then finally, I had to say something definitive to get him off the phone. Run out of Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because… that’s who made the tape. If you want to get to the bottom of a matter of the heart, what you’re supposed to do is ask a woman. A father and son unknowingly sleep with the same woman, then four years later compete over the paternity of a child either of them could be the father of. I’m busting that nut in her face. As a matter of fact, some people say it’s necessary. ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ In every ghetto ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ In every ghetto ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ In every ghetto ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ In every ghetto ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ In every ghetto ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ In every ghetto ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ Revolution ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ In every ghetto ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ [man] I’m rich, biatch! I hadn’t seen a tape in over a decade. Remember Paula Deen got fired from the Food Network? I’ll probably be back in a couple of hours.” “A couple hours?” You can get a good one in in two hours. The lesson is if you are old and white and racist in this great country, whatever you do… don’t tell your black girlfriend about that shit. That’s not what this crew is all about.” I’d be like, “What? I was just like, “Hey, n i g g a, I heard you was gay. share. Movie ‘Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas’ was released in March 21, 2017 in genre Comedy. We love you at the house.” I said, “Miss, please, just— All right, look. Movie Title: Deep in the Heart of Texas: Dave Chappelle Live at Austin City Limits, Hibiscus (Suivai Pilisipi Autagavaia, from short film Manurewa) and the take no nonsense Ruth (Anna-Maree Thomas) have been friends since school. He’s gonna get the upper hand. User account menu • MOVIES132.TO- Watch Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas FULL FREE HD. It’s diarrhea. Killed that man in Dallas. The only parents that are nice to me is a lesbian couple— Kate and Sarah. You can’t rape feet. Let me get a two-piece.” I don’t give a fuck what he says. She must’ve been sitting Indian style.” Thirty-nine more where that came from. They brought him in like a prisoner. Now, I should’ve minded my own business, but I got curious. Good to be back in Austin, Texas. The tape. You know what I mean. Any thoughts? Shop for the Dave Chappelle - Dave Chappelle: The Age Of Spin And Deep In The Heart Of Texas and receive free shipping on your order and the guaranteed lowest price. He actually did that. He received his first Emmy Award in 2017 for his guest appearance on Saturday Night Live. She laughs at this shit. Take care.” I was about to hang up, but I couldn’t resist. Oh, no. I personally didn’t believe it. Anyone see that Ray Rice tape? You know that, right? But if you call him a nigger when you do it, that’s a felony hate crime. I’m gonna stay up and watch television. More importantly, don’t forget Michael Jackson was killed by a doctor. But I knew that she was just really mad about that tape, so now she was gonna punish me about a fucking sandwich that I’d bit. I was walking with my sister. You can kiss all that Engineering homework good-bye, Fouhad. If you know anything about show business, it is really hard to get fired from the fucking Food Network. He’s the first openly gay NFL player. -Come on, Dave! Fortunately, one of them has a cousin who’s a lawyer – Vincent Gambini, a former auto mechanic…, An estranged mother/daughter country music duo reunite after 10 years apart to release a Christmas single after a video of them goes viral. I want a two-piece. MOVIES132.TO Free full movies links, hd streaming and Tv series. I’m soft and warm and persuasive, like a real pussy. “What’s going on?” “Hi, David. Really fucking bad. !” Oh, this is not a joke, ladies and gentlemen. I just picture Lil Wayne like… “What is this strange oil… floating in my hot tub water? Now, pussy, tell me, what goes through a fighter’s mind when their bean gets rattled around like that?” “I don’t think I was thinking anything, Larry. Filmed at the Moody Theater in Austin, Texas, in April 2015. ♪ Tune ♪ After the Tuskegee experiments and all that shit. It was awful. This man simply beats the pussy up. An hour later, we were all sitting in the police station, and the police came in. There was fanning and shit. I couldn’t tell. I was watching TV at the same time. It’s fucking awful. And none of the parents like me, either. Pfft! They got me. Oh, my God, it’s everywhere. He looked right into the camera and said, “Obama, I am back.” [swish] I saw that shit, I said, “Oh, my God. Which doesn’t make sense at all. I told you, I’m not cut out for that. That’s not gonna do the trick. What’s the big deal? What if Martin Luther King just went around throwing tuna casserole on white people? She’s drunk as hell, buddy. Yeah. And I felt sick to my stomach, and I looked up at the clock, and then I saw my wife was coming home in ten minutes, and I just panicked. I don’t know what else to tell you.” I like when Lil Wayne talks about pussy, because he’s— Remember Lil Wayne used to have that song? I got one son that goes to a public school. I’m waiting on it any second. I was mad as fuck. You could trade that sandwich for something better. Chop, chop. Now, this is not to say that it’s bad. You know that’s how it starts. “How the fuck are you gonna have a game without us?” But it turned out that the black guy he was speaking of was none other than Magic Johnson, the billionaire! Chappelle celebrated George Floyd’s life and ripped the media for the way it handled his death in a surprise Netflix special. Only fun people get AIDS. So, imagine my surprise when I go to pick my son up after all this happens. We’re in New York getting married ’cause it’s legal here.” I said, “Oh. What I’m doing is adding value to their lunch. You throw being gay on top of that, that shit is explosive. Chappelle gets real about racially charged run-ins, celebrity scandals and fatherly dilemmas in a searing stand-up set at Austin's Moody Theater. It’s a very unfortunate set of circumstances, because we were doing very well. Sarah knows that I’m black, and she’s half-black, so she just understands me. That’s the only way I can get my head in the game. [audience laughing] Most of the dudes I meet around these parts are dressed like a dyke in New York, so I’m glad to see that. Shine your flashlight right here. I was warm and moist, and… I don’t know. Really, I didn’t want to talk. She would just punish me in little ways, make me do shit that I hate to do. I love a good hand-job. With Dave Chappelle, Morgan Freeman. Small town in Ohio. I don’t know who she said it to, but whoever it was was just looking at her like, “I’m gonna get you for this, bitch.” That shit came back 30 years later like a Bill Cosby rape and sunk her battleship. And this man was definitely on drugs. Sorry about that, Officer. I’ll go straight to the front. That’s the first time that shit’s ever happened. [thumping] “My man, could I just talk to you guys for a second? I think the idea is you’re not supposed to punch her in the face. Here it goes. Can you imagine? And she laughed a little, and it helped her relax, and we started talking, and then she cracked a few jokes… that hurt my feelings, honestly. If I say I’m coming, I’m coming. I’m your ally in that. FILE - In this Jan. 28, 2018 file photo, Dave Chappelle poses in the press room with the best comedy album award for "The Age of Spin" and "Deep in the Heart of Texas" at the 60th annual Grammy Awards in New York. These are men. I’m a real good defensive fighter. But maybe if you— if you could just… suck my dick a little bit. All contents are provided by non-affiliated third parties. Just chill.” And the one guy in the back seat— I don’t know what, he was just cockier than his friends. After that, I was like, “Fuck going to the doctor.” Why the fuck am I getting my kids vaccinated for an old-ass disease like measles? ‘Cause he sounded like he was dying to talk about that shit, and he had a long story about it. Larry the Cable Guy – Remain Seated (2020) – Transcript, Craig Ferguson: Just Being Honest (2015) – Transcript, Kevin Hart: Zero F**ks Given (2020) – Transcript, Sam Morril: I Got This (2020) – Transcript. A romantic comedy set in the Southern California beach scene. These doctors, thank God, are healthy. You know what I’m saying. Not a banana. Now I might smoke some weed in the middle of the night, and she’ll leave neatly-wrapped sandwiches all over the kitchen. Sad. There’s too many ethical questions when men do that. I was bleeding out of my eyes and anus, so I got concerned, but I’m okay.” What happened to the brother in Dallas? Directed by Stan Lathan. Pfft! Someone fell asleep with their socks off, didn’t they?” You can’t rape feet. But who is this handicapped guy we’re all waiting on that never shows up?” So, I hate going over to that school. It looks like you got 50 with a right and a left, but then 50 slips you a jab. [screaming] You know, when a guy busts a nut, right after that, there’s a window of six minutes where he does the most rational thinking he ever does. Filmed at the Moody Theater in Austin, Texas, in April 2015. Hey, Sarah. I’m a germophobe. She’s mad at me now ’cause I got myself in trouble. I don’t know why she’d do that. That’s what they do. And I smiled from ear to ear. It was more confusing than it was infuriating. And then here comes the banana peel. Just tell me the truth. But, again, I knew it was premeditated. I’ll be like, “Hey, Kate. No thing in this world is as cold as a woman’s cold shoulder, ’cause she was mad, but she wouldn’t talk to me about it. It glistens in the light. Everybody heard him say it. I just said, “Hey, man, did you see that Ray Rice video?” And instantly, he was like, “David, that shit was disgusting.” And then a moment later, he goes… “I wonder what she said to him.” I don’t think that matters. Well, what do you think I’m gonna do? If you want to press charges, we’ll move forward. Chappelle gets real about racially charged run-ins, celebrity scandals and fatherly dilemmas in a searing stand-up set at Austin's Moody Theatre. But she doesn’t understand these types of things. It’s my own business. He isn’t thinking of jokes, though. Recently, I got attacked online by some gay bloggers, and it hurt my feelings. Because who the fuck has a snowball in a warm car? Were you surprised? Okay? Twenty years from now, he’ll be tucking his kids into bed, and the kids will be like, “Daddy, tell me about the day you threw that banana peel at that nigger in Santa Fe.” “Boy, I tell you what. She’s staying for the money.” Now, wait a minute, ’cause my other girlfriend was like, “I disagree. Salt, n i g g a. Regular-ass table salt. “Where was the secret serum?” is what we all said. What she said is, she said, “I am uncomfortable with that word.” And I was like, “Really? He said, “I did it ’cause Dave Chappelle is racist.” So, n i g g a? And he’s definitely not getting it from that school. I’m gonna have to change my settings. We don’t know what happened because he won’t talk to anybody. Actually the fairest person I’ve ever met. Pussy, come over here and let me talk to you for a second. I support anybody’s right to be whoever they feel like they are inside. There. Definitely a feminist. What if I lived in Austin and I had a white girlfriend? “Let me help you, motherfucker. You don’t give a fuck how I feel. It’s like if you have a good barbeque, you don’t even think about it. He was like, “So, Dave… what do you think?” And I started mumbling again. I gotta tap my foot so he can see the food. He goes, “It’s delicious.” I was like, “What?” I don’t think I’ve ever heard pussy called delicious before in my life. And sons love everything their dads do. I’m just being real. Short haircut, plaid shirt. Press J to jump to the feed. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Maybe me and Kate will flip for that shit.” I said, “Bitch, you better save that coin toss, because everybody knows you’re strapping on in that household.” And then Kate will turn bright red, but Sarah just fist-bumps me, like, “You’re right, n i g g a. It’s me. I’m just a messy eater.” If I drop food and Baba’s not around, all I gotta do is call him. It’s hard for white people to understand, but what I’m saying is very true. Then one of them white guys stepped up and was like, “I didn’t like that at all. All rights reserved. It’s pussy juice.” That shit was so funny to me, I must’ve wrote, like, no less than 40 jokes with the punch line “pussy juice,” and all of them worked to some degree 100% of the time. Now, my sister was dressed in all Muslim garb, as were her children, and I was dressed as Dave Chappelle. Oh. I’m not gonna finish. [crowd] Ohh! I am so sorry. “Baba!” He’s a black dude’s dog, so he doesn’t come right away. ♪ A, child ♪ How you been?” He said, “We’ll catch up at the show, but I appreciate it. Yeah. “Has anyone else been on this crime scene?” “No.” “It’s very strange. What did they do to you?” “Dad, I’m tired of this shit. Is it true? Oh, boy. Oh, you know what we could do? Let’s get to the club. It’s nothing like a love song. I don’t give a fuck what happens. !” Anyway… I live amongst the whites. Right after Ray Rice went through all that shit, I was at a party and I met this kid Michael Sam. Uh-oh. You know, you’re just gay.” He said, “I’m a little nervous about getting married, man. That school is very— It’s a liberal school. It’s a tough time for the blacks. And then after high school, word on the street was he had come out the closet. “David?” “Hmm?” “Don’t eat the kids’ lunch.” And then she walks away. He just hit me from angles I wasn’t expecting. She recorded all that shit. I said, “Yo, why do y’all think that this woman stayed with Ray Rice after he punched her in the face with all his strength?” And one of my girlfriends said, “David, you need to wake the fuck up. I think either God is white, or the government hid that shit in disco balls. Well, congratulations, fellas.” And Manuel was like, “Gracias.” And he went to go get some drinks, and then my buddy looked at me. 3 responses to “TV Review: Two Dave Chappelle Netflix Comedy Specials, ‘Deep in the Heart of Texas’ and ‘The Age of Spin’” bobbysue says: March 18, 2017 at 2:37 pm I’m sorry, guys. I can’t explain it. Could I get some tickets?” I was like, “Fuck yeah, you can get some tickets. This guy must be really racist if AIDS is the footnote. As a matter of fact, she eats and spends this shit. I think we can all agree that’s the truth. It was a tape of me— I was fucking a girl, okay? Anyway… I give all married men the same advice, gay or straight. I said, ‘Man, if I could just get close enough to meet him… I’d throw a banana on that nigger and show him how—'” Fucking Bananagate. ’ ve been in this position before Rice went through all that Engineering homework good-bye Fouhad... Up ♪ that ’ s not that I can see the Food Network one in Heart... 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